10 Years Later

So...I was watching my Sunday line up of prime-time shows, killing time before Keith returns from a business trip and just as Brody was about to tell Nora (Brothers & Sisters) some terribly important tidbit from their past, the news interrupted my program to announce that Osama bin Laden is DEAD. U.S. military and intelligence shot and killed bin Laden in a compound/mansion in Pakistan. The president spoke to the American people about thirty minutes after the news interrupted to give us the information. This November would have been ten years since 9/11 and I know that those directly affected with a loss of their loved one has a sense of justice this evening. It makes me feel very proud to be a citizen in the United States of America.

When people speak about 9/11, it's one of those events where you remember exactly where you were that morning upon learning the complete devastation that took so many lives. Everyone remembers. I was up with Delaney first thing in the morning. She was 10 months old and was up throughout the night and most certainly early morning. I was drinking a cup of coffee and watching the news. Josh was asleep in our room. The first plane struck the World Trade Center and I went in to wake Josh up to come and watch, since it was still unclear what happened/why it happened/was it an accident. We watched the news for the next three days. Fast forward ten years and interesting to see the then, then and the now, now. Where I am in my life now versus unhappily married then. Just so wild how much things change.

Years Passed and Lessons Learned

It's been awhile since I've read the painful memories from 2005-2008'ish and I'm not too terribly interested in rehashing everything. I will say that I've learned a lot about myself. What I can tolerate, what I won't tolerate, period. Current date, I'm with the man of my dreams. My best friend, literally. Keith is *the* guy that I met and casually dated 13 years ago. He, Delaney and I are a family now with marriage very close in sight. It's interesting how one looks at marriage at a young age (me - 20 married, almost 21 having Delaney) versus being in my 30's now and what works for me and what doesn't.

I guess I mean that in the present moment of heartache and complete devestation....your world falling apart all around you...the husband you thought to always be faithful...the house that is your home that you had no intention of ever living elsewhere...your child, whom you never thought they would have to experience a broken home...all happens with the break-up of a family. Never in my entire life (and, I suppose *who* ever intends or plans on a broken family) had I thought divorce would ever be in my lifeline. Now, almost five years after the divorce of our family, I know without a shadow of a doubt that the man that I married; the father of my child...is NOT the man for me. He is wildly intelligent and has an absolute love of learning but he has no concept on what it means to actually love someone. My heart goes out to my daughter who never gets to truly spend time with her dad and experience something to create a memory. He will forever be a learner of all things but his relationship skills, especially those he remains close to, will not make the cut with him. Anyway...

My point is, is that it's almost been five years since our divorce. I'm fine today. I'm in love with Keith and I'm so excited about our future together. Does it make me sad that my first marriage failed? Of course. But, today -- he's not my person. And, I'm thankful for that. For knowing that. For being bigger and better than having my ex-husband holding me back.

More later. ♥ Heather