Saturday Night Thoughts

So, it's 10:15 at night and I'm sitting in front of the computer with a feeling of sadness, emptiness, weirdness of this weekend sans Keith. He started a job and is out of town until the second week of December and as much as I thought it would be a great break, I miss him terribly. It could be because I've not yet talked to him. Tried texting earlier but haven't heard anything back. California time would place him at 8:07 now and due to him working retail sales, I'm thinking I won't hear from him until two hours from now, if I do at all. It's sort of funny and strange at the same time how our day-to-day patterns go without reason to question and when disturbed, it greatly throws a kink in our reaction to things. My poor little girl. Since I lost my job earlier this month, we've been forced to hang at home. Not so bad considering we have decorated for Christmas, worked on her science project for school, cleaned and organized, watched movies, went to the store for shopping (grocery and clothes) and visited the park. My daughter was full of theatrics tonight when she claimed that she was 'sad' and it stemmed from me jumping on her here lately. I will make more of a conscience effort to spout out comments due to her annoying me but come on. The tables turned where I'm the bad guy...clearly, she's the spawn of her father, too. Heh. Anyway, SNL is on in less than 10 minutes - perhaps I'll watch that for a little bit. Tired of feeling like a shit mother for my child being 'sad' for no reason whatsoever. When she's with her dad, she sits in her room watching TV. I love my child and even though I don't have a job right at this moment, she will always know that I will do whatever I can to entertain her and allow her to have a fun time. With Keith gone, on the other hand, and completely another topic, it amazes me how much me missing him impacts me. I have been independent for so very long. Him being gone for TWO DAYS strikes me as wanting to hear his voice. In my mind, there is absolutely no reason whatsoever for him not to have called me by now. I texted him earlier saying 'Kisses to you. xoxo.' Nothing. Due to the fact that every man in my entire adult hood has ended up cheating on me, I hesitate in thinking the same. I would agree if I didn't know him as I do. I hope with everything in my being that Keith would never do anything to betray my confidence and respect. His sister is coming over tomorrow to hang out. Perhaps I should go to sleep, forego the 'Saturday Night Live' and start tomorrow in the morning. I really can't wait to be his wife. I love him so much and can't wait to start a family together.